On Valentine's Day
by wolf's paradise
Summary: Of course this would have to happen. Of course it would have to be like this. It was a shinobi's life, one that required sacrifice and pain. For Sakura, it wasn't any different. That one word echoed in her mind, threatening to drive her insane. Gone....


**A/N:** So, this is my little Valentine's Day fanfiction, as you can tell from the title. This is a songfic off of the lovely and wonderful Linkin Park song Valentine's Day. I originally was never planning to write a songfic, because many of them can be way too cheesy and overdone. However, I don't believe that this one is too overdone, and there aren't too many words in the lyrics, so it leaves the story to blossom on its own and support or be supported by the song.

Also, I know that this is technically a Valentine's Day story, but I couldn't post it tomorrow. Lots of people are probably going to be doing things, and I'm busy with my own stuff, so it's getting posted tonight. :D Only one word was changed in the lyrics, but I kind of had to do it that way so that it'd fit with the story. And it's just the article "a".

I really hope you guys enjoy this little one-shot. I tend to be pretty good at angsty things, and this one was a little bit more angsty than most. So this will be a lot like my Forgive and Forget story, however, this is still a little more disjointed than Forgive and Forget. If there aren't any clear images of the characters or what they're doing, or other characters seem 2-dimensional, it's done purposefully. It's simply a fact that she's just living, and doesn't really take in any detail.

On Valentine's Day

Dark clouds rested overhead, blotting out any sign of the sun that could have shone. It was a good thing—in a way. The sun shouldn't be shining on a day like this. A day such as this should never have come.

Nobody believed it would come.

Because it was impossible to think that it could have happened. An existence that shouldn't have survived did, and defied odds with miraculous intensity.

The heavens began to pour their tears of mourning. Nobody cared about the cold, bitter water drenching their clothes and the dry ground. They stood before the newly built memorial, their own mourning tainting the clean rain with a despairing atmosphere.

The casket lay cold in the ground, the fresh dirt solidifying as the rain soaked the country in tears.

* * *

_My insides all turn to ash, so slow. And blow away as I collapse, so cold. A black wind took them away from sight. And now there's darkness over day. That night…_

_And the clouds above move closer, looking so dissatisfied. But the heartless wind kept blowing._

_Blowing._

_

* * *

_

Haruno Sakura stood before the memorial, wet pink hair plastered to her already wet cheeks. Tears had streaked her cheeks before the rain had touched them, but the redness didn't leave her dull, emerald eyes.

How many days had she cried? How much more could she take?

It was raining today, too. It had rained the day he died, too. It always rained in Konoha when one of its shinobi died, but when he had died… the rain had been devastating. It had mirrored the horror and hopelessness that she had felt as she had gazed at the cold grey tombstone.

But the worst thing wasn't the fact that he had escaped death so many times, but perished on this mission; or that so many people had known and loved him; or that he had been mangled in death. No, it was the fact that his body _hadn't_ been found. It gave Sakura the slightest glimmer of hope, but that hope had been destroyed every day until it had hit the bedrock.

It hadn't stopped there. Harsh reality kept shattering her, pounding out any hope she had left for anything else. Her latest mission had been completed with a detached coldness; there was no reason for her to feel. Killing required detachment anyway. Killing was a relief, a way to get out her bottled anger at him for leaving her. It didn't really take much for her to feel about saving a life, either. Because no matter how many lives Sakura saved, she hadn't been able to save his.

And _he_ had been killed. But that knowledge in itself was one that required her to feel. It required her to feel every single time she thought of him, to realize that she was nothing but a shadow of herself. Everything inside of her had died the moment that she had heard the news.

Tsunade had stayed passive. Sakura remembered her anger flaring at her teacher, ready to rip the blonde's head off because she was talking as if the weather were nice. He had _died_.

A choking sob mangled itself through Sakura's throat. She missed him. God damn it; she _missed_ him! Didn't that count for anything?

"Why?" she screamed. "Why did you leave me? You promised me you would never die! You gave me a promise! What happened to it? Are you happy you haven't fulfilled it? Do you like seeing me like this?"

Of course he didn't. She knew that. She knew he hated breaking promises. Her knees gave way as she collapsed onto the drenched ground, fresh tears mixing with the rain that softened her broken sobs.

She was alive. Her heart beat. It felt the sting of her loss. But everything else about her was dead. She was dead. Sakura no longer felt the cold prick of the rain, nor the itchy grass scratching at her knees and shins. Nothing. She was just as dead as he was; she would remain lifeless unless he brought her back to life.

Harsh wind cut through the rain, angling the drops and forcing them to slash at Sakura's exposed skin. The wind took everything away: her pain, her sorrow, her hope, her life. She was glad the clouds had stayed grey. She was glad the sun hadn't shined for a week. Because her sun had faded, had refused to rise after it had set. It would stay dark until he decided to rise, to give her life the hope and purpose it had been given before.

The wind lashed, peeling Sakura's hair away from her rain-soaked face. Loose ends whipped in the sudden gust, a few of the ends stinging her cheek. She felt it, but had no urge to complain. With the wind had come a sense of numbness. It had been the same when she had been at his funeral.

It surprised her—the intensity of her feelings. She hadn't known she would react like this. I was like her to grimace when she had killed before, but she had never reacted this badly to anything before.

"Why?" she croaked, heartbroken sobs drowned out in the wind and rain. "You never let me tell you…" She sniffed as her lifeless orbs stared blindly at the blurry tombstone in front of her. "You never came back so I could tell you…"

* * *

_I used to be my own protection. But not now._

_Cause my path has lost direction… somehow…_

_A black wind took you away from sight. And now there's darkness over day. That night…_

_And the clouds above move closer, looking so dissatisfied. And the ground below grew colder as they put you down inside. But that heartless wind kept blowing…_

_Blowing…_

_

* * *

_

Hands trembled as they held onto the one picture, the first picture. It was the first picture of her and Naruto together. Sasuke was there, too, as was Kakashi. She, Naruto, and Sasuke were all twelve. If she really thought about it, being on Naruto's team had shown her who he really was.

Slowly, as if the picture were too fragile and might break under her touch, a pale finger traced the outline of a twelve-year-old Naruto. She remembered looking at this picture often, when Naruto had been away for his three-year training trip, when he had been working on his Rasenshuriken, and when he had gone on many mission without her.

There were other pictures next to her: her and Naruto training, her and Naruto receiving their jounin vests, her and Naruto having a fight in the river, and many other celebrations and events that Ino had photographed.

A bitter smile turned Sakura's lips. How she had loved those times. How she had thought that they would never end. Because it was impossible to believe. It was impossible to believe that Naruto would die. He was invincible.

Apparently not.

Even Naruto, a shinobi that never quit, had a weakness.

And he hadn't known. She hadn't told him. The last thing she said to him… It hadn't been kind. They had fought about Sasuke, and it had somehow escalated into a completely different topic. The fight still echoed inside of Sakura's head, the thought of it bringing more tears to her eyes.

"_He's hurt me just as much as he's hurt you!" Naruto argued._

_Sakura shook her head. "You know how much he's hurt me, Naruto! How can you say that he's hurt you the same? You didn't love him!"_

_Suddenly, it seemed as if something in him snapped, and his eyes had filled with anger. Sakura knew that look didn't belong in those smiling eyes. Naruto stepped up to her, his face fuming as he stuck it next to hers. She expected his voice to be loud, shouting, but it was soft, and every word cut though her like a knife._

"_What do you honestly know about hurt, Sakura? What do you really know about being alone? Have you ever been alone on Christmas? Have you ever had people stare at you because of reasons you don't understand? Have people ever celebrated your birthday by threatening you? Have you ever been alone? Truly alone?_

"_You above all people should know at least a glimmer of what I've been through. You sought recognition from Sasuke. Do you honestly know how rare it was for me to get recognition from anybody other than when I pulled pranks all the time? Or ditching class?"_

_By now, Sakura was shaking. Had she so mistaken her teammate as to never notice that all he said was true? She could remember seeing those looks of hatred…_

He had been her best friend—aside from Ino. Naruto had comforted her on bad missions, and she had in turn been there for him. It had been a mutual friendship, one they had been content and happy with. He would take her to Ichiraku Ramen for a bite to eat, and she would occasionally convince him to get something other than ramen. They would train together, hurt together. Each had been there for the other.

Now he was gone.

She was the only one left.

Oh, her friends were still there. Ino still worked at the hospital, and Hinata was now taking an internship to learn how to be a nurse. Shikamaru was still lazy, but was head of the intelligence unit. Kiba was the best tracker and scout; Shino was the leader of the spy network. Chouji had become the best heavyweight, his size coming in handy in tough situations that demanded brawn and brute force. Neji was still just as stoic, but was the leader of his clan, showing them new ways of living. He and Tenten had just been married, and she had remained the ever-enthusiastic weapon's mistress. Lee was one of the best close-range fighters…

Naruto had been the best. The best in Sakura's eyes at least.

"You're right," Sakura whispered to the picture. "You were right Naruto. I never did know what it was like to be alone. Sure, I felt alone when Sasuke left, but I had you, Tsunade-shishou, and Kakashi…"

Sakura felt a sob scratch at the back at her throat as tears clawed behind her eyes. "And I… I know what it's like now," she whispered. "I know what it's like to be alone…"

She had cried every day for the past two weeks. It shouldn't surprise her if she were to cry now. Still, she was shocked at the intensity of her sorrow. Naruto had been a good friend… just a friend…

Hadn't he?

He had been there for her every day… every moment…

He had loved her, had told her that himself.

The advances were enough to project that he liked her. But never love. She had never thought Naruto capable of anything more idiotic than "like". She had realized that the "like" had always been "love". Never had it been anything less. The more they grew together, the more his love had grown for her, and the more he grew the capacity to love her with all of his heart.

How had she missed this?

How could she have fucking missed this?!

She had known him since they were six! She had known him almost all of her life! She had been his teammate, and his friend, and his comforter! How could she have looked past those minute glimmers in his cerulean eyes? Sakura had always brushed it off as his stupidity. It was her stupidity! Her fucking stupidity for not realizing it sooner!

Because she realized that she cared about him more than any normal friend should.

She cared about him more.

Like one would worry about a lover.

And it was her own fucking fault that he was dead. Sakura had always thought that she was strong enough on her own. If it was a particularly bad mission, he was there for her. He was her buoy, a thing that forced her out of despair and back into the light. She had gotten too dependent on him.

She was lost without him.

Because it was way too late, and she realized…

… She loved him.

* * *

_So now you're gone, and I was wrong. I never knew what it was like to be alone on Valentine's Day._

_On a Valentine's Day._

_On a Valentine's Day._

_On a Valentine's Day._

_On _this_ Valentine's Day…_

* * *

Four months. He had died four months ago. How had she survived? She didn't know herself. She moved through the motions of her job, trying to live for her friends. It had been useless, of course. Her friends had been there for the first month, attempting to deal with Naruto's death in their own way.

Ino talked.

Shikamaru watched the clouds.

Shino, Lee, Neji, Tenten, Kiba, and Chouji threw themselves harder into their work.

Hinata blushed less, even though her caring personality didn't diminish. If anything, she was even more anxious to help.

Sakura took Naruto's death the hardest. Her body was just there; nothing resided inside of her empty core. Every day she would take missions without complaint; her fiery personality was gone. Every day she would see how dangerous missions brought out people's feelings.

It was no different for her.

But… she had never gotten a chance to see him again.

She never would. Today was Valentine's Day of all days, and it was sunny. It made Sakura sick. Seeing all the couples in love brought an angry flush to her cheeks. Did no one but her remember what taken place four months ago? Did no one see the graveyard and only spot that one stone, an exact replica of the others, but different in every way? Why did she only see Naruto?

He was there in her dreams.

He was there in her nightmares.

He was there in an alley, or a hospital memory, or the training grounds.

He was _everywhere_.

"What's up, Forehead?"

Sakura growled. "Don't take that happy tone with me, Ino." Though Sakura had a strange tolerance for her friend of fourteen years, she had no tolerance for the blond kunoichi at the moment.

"I know that you really want to spend all your time with Shikamaru. You want to have a romantic dinner with just the two of you, rose petals and all. After, you want to sit under the stars and point them out together, and maybe he'll slip a ring on your finger." Sakura's voice was dripping with sarcasm, bitterness, and a sharp edge of loneliness that Ino had never heard before.

"Sakura?" Ino's voice had dropped to a whisper. Using the pink-haired kunoichi's nickname was definitely not the best idea. Little did Sakura know that was exactly what Ino had hoped for.

However, Ino noticed how Sakura's anger gave her ghostly skin a slight flush. The medic nin had gotten pale and thin—not that she had stopped eating. She continued, but Ino only knew it was for show. Only at times like this would Sakura come alive if only for a moment, and it was but a fourth of the vitality that she had shown before Naruto had gone.

"How did you know?"

Sakura whirled in anger, her voice broken and sick with unquenchable pain. "Because I want it, too! I want it so fucking bad, and I can't have it! I never said it to him! I never told him! And on days like this, I'm always reminded of the last thing I ever said to him, and how cruel I was! I never told him!"

"Told him what?" Ino whispered. Her friend was in a completely shattered state; only the most skillful of weavers would ever be able to piece her back together.

"Are you blind, Ino?" Sakura's voice was broken, crushed. "Are you that blind to see that I haven't ever been this bad, even when Sasuke left?" The traitor, the one that left her on a bench, the one she had loved as a crush and a teammate, but never like this…

Ino sucked in a breath. Sakura nodded.

"You…?"

Green eyes tightened with inexplicable misery and regret.

The blond female couldn't help it. She enclosed Sakura in a hug, the pink haired kunoichi shivering as she struggled desperately to control a losing battle. Her shoulders suddenly sagged, finally giving in to the despair that clutched at her heart like an ever tightening vice that refused to give her peace.

"Go to the graveyard, Sakura. Tell him you miss him," Ino whispered, knowing it would actually do the kunoichi good. They were good cries when Sakura came back from the graveyard; those nights, a dream or a nightmare would haunt her sleep, dictating her next few days. Most of the time, however, Sakura was numb.

Sakura nodded, quickly wiping the tears from her eyes. It gave her hope—even if it was a small glimmer—that her friends hadn't deserted her. They had simply left her alone to deal in her own way as well.

* * *

_On a Valentine's Day._

_On a Valentine's Day._

_On a Valentine's Day._

_On a Valentine's Day._

_On _this_ Valentine's Day._

* * *

The sun had retracted into the back portion of the sky. Sakura stood in front of the muted grey stone.

_Uzumaki Naruto,_ it read.

It was still Valentine's Day. It was still light out. There were no clouds, the sun was setting, and he was still gone. And on all days, today was the day she had to tell him, even if he weren't here to hear the words she spoke. They were choking her, demanding her to set them free or they would plague her very existence.

"You know," she started, suddenly feeling the tears tugging at the back of her eyes. "I never thought you would die. I always thought you were invincible. Ridiculous, huh?" She gave a small laugh. "Yeah, I agree. It is stupid. You? Naruto? Invincible? No way."

The words caught in her throat. "But that's just the problem, Naruto. I did think you would never die. I _did_ think you were invincible. And look where that got us…"

Sakura sucked in a breath. "You know, I never hated you. I liked a few of your crazy prank ideas. I only said no because Sasuke thought they were stupid. Can you believe it? After I heard that you were attacked by Akatsuki, I found out that Sasuke was—_is_—part of Akatsuki. And he… he was the one that killed you."

The medic slid to the grass, crossing her legs and resting her elbows on her knees. "I know you won't really agree with it… but I forgive him. I forgive him for leaving the village and leaving me. But I can't… _I. Can't_… forgive him for taking you away from me.

"Naruto, Sasuke was a crush, a bad choice on my part. You… you started meaning a lot to me, even when it seemed that I was just using you as a support beam. Honestly, I wasn't. Okay, so maybe I was for the first few times, but after that, I liked the time we spent together." Sakura heaved a broken sigh riddled with sobs.

"Naruto!" she cried softly. "I love you, you idiot! I love you so much, god damn it, and there's nothing I can do but sit here and talk to you like you exist."

"_Sakura-chan…"_

They were mocking her! The skies were mocking her, making fun of the aching pain that gripped her heart. "Stop torturing me!" she suddenly screamed to the sky.

"_Don't, Sakura-chan…"_

"S-s-stop…" she sobbed.

"_Don't cry, Sakura-chan…"_

It sounded so much like him, so much like his voice that a fresh bout of tears burst from Sakura's eyes. Her green orbs were shut tightly and one hand was clenched into a fist while the other covered her splotched, red face.

A soft hand touched her back. It was warm, comforting, and oh-so-familiar. "Ino," Sakura whispered. "Ino, don't…" Sakura wanted to be left alone.

The hand gently gave a reassuring squeeze, and Sakura suddenly realized that it was too big to be Ino's hand. And too warm as well.

"Oh, God," Sakura's voice shook, but she could have cared less.

Dull green locked with pained, sparkling blue. His eyes… Sakura would have recognized them anywhere. No genjutsu, no matter how talented the user, could ever hope to capture the enigma buried within those depthless orbs. Kurenai had tried once; Sakura hadn't had to think twice when she looked into "Naruto's" eyes.

"It can't be…"

"Hai, Sakura-chan. It's real."

And suddenly, she was in his arms. Shattered sobs filled the silent graveyard, and it took a close look to realize that both were crying. Her hands fisted his shirt, refusing to back away from him, breathing in his smell, looking at his wild blond hair, the short whisker marks on his face.

She pulled back to look at his face, but his warm arms were still around her waist. "How?" she whispered. "How in the world…?"

He shrugged, a sheepish look adorning his face. "I wanted to see you again. I was… dying… I had accepted that fact. A nice couple found me in a cave, took me in, and nursed me back to health. Apparently, Sasuke had been there, too, but he was dead. They took care of me until I was well enough to travel.

"I'm sorry, Sakura-chan." His blue eyes tightened, and his mouth twitched sorrowfully. "I didn't keep my promise. I didn't bring Sasuke back. I didn't mean to kill him, but we were so close to each other, the fight so prolonged and intense that neither of us could keep control…" He looked down at his feet. "And then, as I lay there dying, I realized how I didn't apologize for everything I said to you, and that I didn't say goodbye."

Sakura twirled a soft strand of blond hair around her finger. "Don't… I don't want you to take back the words. They made me realize something."

His breath hitched. "Did you mean what you said, Sakura-chan? Did you mean what you said just now?"

She nodded. "Of course. You know I don't normally say things lightly."

His bright blue eyes roved over her form, taking in the developed muscles and slightly thinner physique, but ghostly pale skin. "Sakura-chan, why are you…?"

"You died," she breathed.

Suddenly, he couldn't help himself. The blush heating her cheeks made her look much more alive than she had just a moment ago. She looked like herself, like the Sakura that he knew and loved so desperately. He hated himself for doing this to her, but he hadn't been able to do anything differently. Sasuke had given him many deep wounds that took time to heal. But in this moment, her green eyes were so bright, so full of life, and his heart crashed in his chest. The sun tinged her livening pink hair with gold, and his breath caught in his throat.

Naruto plunged in, crashing his lips to Sakura's in a rare moment of desperation. He wanted her, had wanted her ever since they had been twelve. Now, of course, it was a different kind of want, but a want all the same. He wanted her to be his and only his—nobody else's. And if anything, he wanted her even more now than he had before. She had finally confessed to loving him.

_Him_.

Not Sasuke. But _him_.

Sakura pushed herself into him, moving her lips with his in a way that she had never experienced before. It was slow, needy, and filled with intensity. Her heart pounded against her ribcage as she realized that Naruto was really there with her. His tongue swept across her lower lip, slowly venturing further as her mouth parted in a gasp. Her hands sifted through his hair as he kissed her slowly, lovingly.

All her life, Sakura had always wanted to be loved like this, for her future husband to treat her like Naruto was now. Naruto didn't want things to escalate past kissing, and neither did she. He loved her enough to wait just a little longer before they would have each other—_officially_.

And so did she.

He pulled away, resting his forehead on hers. "Sakura-chan," he whispered, his blue eyes fixing her with a gaze so intense she wondered how anyone could not see Naruto's enormous capacity to feel. "I love you. I always have. You were the one thing that kept me alive."

Sakura nodded, tears sifting down her cheeks. He wiped them away and smiled breathlessly, and she smiled back. Her tears weren't ones of sorrow anymore; they were filled with a joy she couldn't explain.

"Happy Valentine's Day," he murmured. "I'm back."

As he looked into her eyes, a silent fire burned behind the jade, lighting her core with an insatiable thirst for life, for love, for _him_.

Her arms wrapped around him again, and he bent down, catching her lips in another kiss. He knew that she had no idea just how good of kisser she was, even if her first kiss had been moments ago. And somehow, even on the second kiss, she was getting better.

Sakura sighed against his lips, craving more, craving him, craving his love. She had to get out one last thought before she would let him kiss her again. "How did you know I was here?" she whispered once she had successfully pulled away.

He pouted, but answered anyway. "Ino told me to come here and check out what Konoha had made for me. She told me to wait here, and that you would come."

A smirk touched Sakura's lips. That little sneak. But Sakura felt inexplicable gratitude towards her lifetime friend. Sakura wouldn't have visited the graveyard unless someone had suggested it, or almost forced her to go. She smiled widely, standing on her toes and pressing her lips against Naruto's. He was an awesome kisser.

This was the first Valentine's Day that she had spent alone.

But it hadn't ended that way.

He had come back to her at the very end.

She wasn't alone anymore…

… and she never would be again.

--

**A/N:** So, what'd you guys think? Please feel free to review or criticize or flame, I'm cool with any of them. I've never written a songfic before, so please let me know how this one turned out.

Thanks everyone!!

- wolf's paradise


End file.
